It is with great sadness that I share with you that our courageous amazing friend, Angie has passed on. She put up the most admirable of fights against breast cancer, until the very end. Her’s is a story that hits close to everyone’s heart. This is our story. Angie is your sister, your daughter, your wife, your mother, your friend. It’s impossible not to put yourself in her shoes and then ask, ‘Would I have fought as hard?’ ‘Would I have been so gracious?’, ‘Could I have been so courageous?’. Angie has taught us all, from the very beginning of her fight, how to deal. By example, she has shown us how to be strong and loving. She has shown us how to fight with her, and in the end, how to say good-bye to her. Just a few weeks ago, she told me that she wasn’t scared of dying because she knew she’d still be right here, with us all…but that we would have to learn to look for her. These next few days, weeks, years, we’ll need to show up for her family…for her daughters, her husband, her sisters, her parents…we’ll need to look for her, she’ll be there.
There are few words that can comfort those of us who miss her dearly already, but my Mama sent me this last week (she’s good like that) and it has been a comfort for a loss that has been so very tragic.
On Joy and Sorrow
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.
Just last week, Angie insisted on family photos at her home. She knew how precious her time was, and she knew how precious her loving family is. Though these images may be difficult to look at now, I hope that one day they will bring a sense of peace, especially to her beautiful daughters. These were important to her…images of the most important people to her.
I will be forever grateful to Angie for so many reasons. I am thankful for the example of love and courage she has left for her daughters, I’m thankful for the laughs, and the talks, and the tears that we’ve shared.
I am thankful to our little girls who have formed a true bond of friendship and allowed us to become friends too.
I am thankful that even though this journey has been a difficult one, it has reminded me the meaning of friendship, compassion and ‘showing up’ even when it’s hard.
I will forever remember my sweet friend as this smiling, content, full-of-life-Mama-of-two, full of passion and overflowing with light. Angie was always adamant about awareness. She was a strong believer in knowing and listening to your body. She believed in taking care of your body and taking care of those around you. Her message of “be well and have hope” will live on forever. Thank you dear friend, for everything, I will miss you.
She also had dreams of starting a non-profit, you can follow her vision in the years to come here at Little Pink Ribbon Girl.