I started 2014 off in bed, with the covers over my head. I knew it was going to be a tough year. I knew that there would be friends to say good-bye to, illness, heartache. I knew, without a doubt, that it would be a difficult year for so many. I opted out of choosing a ‘word’ for 2014, like I had done for so many years in the past. Secretly, I told myself that if I could just “show up and pay attention” I’d call it a win. A friend of mine told me that maybe my word should ‘home’…not a bad idea. I never wrote about a ‘word’ on my blog, because if I couldn’t be honest, than I thought it better to say nothing at all. Showing up and paying attention was all that I could muster this year. Looking back on the year, I can see now that showing up and paying attention was exactly enough. It’s something that I can see now and feel proud of, even. 2014 was hard, brutal even…for me, for you, for so so many. But I learned a lot, and showing up for my family, for my friends, for myself was just enough this year.
The start of 2015 has me feeling more clear-minded than last year. I know that the year may bring heartache, illness, change…but I feel more prepared? Less prepared? More sensitive? More open to my sensitivity? More positive? More hopeful in the lessons I’ve learned? More at peace with the lessons I have yet to learn? Than last year. This year, I think I do have a word (but if I didn’t again, I’d be ok with that too…) and the word is ‘intentional’. I’d like to be more intentional with my time, my thoughts and my actions. More intentional with my kids, my husband and my family. This life, this time that I have is such a gift and if that means spending more time cuddling on the couch with the kids than working at my computer, I want to do that. If it means making changes to benefit my family, I want to make those choices. If it means “guarding my time fiercely” and at the same time, being “generous with it”, I want to do that too. HAPPY NEW YEAR, friends!